The Discipline of Explanation: What is Coaching, Really?
During the second half of our recent session with Barefoot Coaching Ltd, we tackled a deceptively difficult question: How do you describe coaching to someone who has never experienced it? It’s a challenge many managers face. When a team member is struggling, do you offer a shoulder, a map, or a mirror?
The Thinking Partnership
If I had to explain it simply, I would say this: Coaching is a thinking partnership. it creates a dedicated space for reflection, awareness, and accountability. In short, a coach is an accountability partner who helps you navigate your own mind.
Coaching vs. Mentoring: Knowing the Difference
In my role as a Delivery Lead, I often find myself switching between these two modes. It’s important to understand the distinction:
Mentoring is about Guidance: As a mentor, I share my experience and knowledge. I show you how things can be done and help you navigate situations I have already encountered. I have "skin in the game" because I want you to succeed using proven methods.
Coaching is about Growth: Coaching is about helping you find your answers. The space is confidential, trusted, and non-judgmental. As a coach, I don’t have a preferred outcome; the time and the agenda belong entirely to you.
Good leaders move fluidly between these two, depending on what the person in front of them needs at that moment.
The Driver: Why Do We Help?
We also reflected on the internal motivation of the coach. It’s worth asking: What is actually driving your desire to support someone?
"I need to help" (Validation-seeking)
"I want to help" (Preference-driven)
"I am available to help" (Space-holding)
The third option (availability) is often the most powerful. It removes the coach's ego from the equation and leaves more room for the coachee to grow.
Preparing for Your First Session
For those curious about experiencing coaching, whether with me or another professional, it helps to reflect on a few questions before you begin:
How will you know if coaching is working for you? What does "success" look like?
What are your expectations for the process?
How much structure helps you think, and when does it start to feel restrictive?
Work With Me
I am currently opening up space for practice sessions. If you’re curious about experiencing this "thinking partnership" firsthand, I’d love to hear from you.
Final reflection for the leaders: When someone comes to you with a challenge, what is your "default" setting? Do you mentor, coach, or jump straight into "Fix-it" mode?
