The Discipline of Sorting Your Beliefs
Have you ever noticed how a single, quiet thought pattern can run the show in your professional life?
This week in my journey with Barefoot Coaching Ltd, the focus turned entirely to beliefs, how they are hardwired, how they limit us, and how we can consciously transform them.
Reflecting on my own journey since day one, I’ve noticed a subtle but powerful shift in my own mindset. My confidence has improved. Not massively, but enough to feel its impact in my day-to-day work. The anxiety I used to feel when presenting is fading, and I’ve stopped putting immense pressure on myself to be the “perfect student.” The persistent notion of needing to perform is finally slipping away.
It is completely changing the way I learn. I used to over-prepare, attempting to absorb every piece of data before a session, yet still feeling incredibly uncomfortable speaking in front of strangers. Now, I am letting go of that rigid control. I’m allowing myself to be present, to be deeply curious, and to actually enjoy the process.
Here is what I am learning about the architecture of our mindsets, and why the best coaching intervention is often no intervention at all.
The Anatomy of a Belief
A simple, striking formula we explored for how our core mindsets are established is:
Authority + Emotion + Suggestibility = Beliefs (Positive or Negative)
Once a belief is locked in, our brain uses the Reticular Activating System (RAS) to protect it. The RAS acts as a biological filter, sorting through millions of bits of daily data and highlighting only the information that matches what we already believe.
If you carry a self-limiting belief like "I'm not senior enough to lead this project," your brain will actively scan the room for evidence to prove it true, completely filtering out the praise, the successful metrics, or the team's trust. These self-limiting beliefs often masquerade as immutable facts, but in reality, they are just deeply ingrained patterns of thinking we’ve repeated over time.
A Practical Framework: Keep, Bin, or Transform
During our training, we practiced a highly effective, tactile exercise using simple post-it notes to help clients unpack their internal narratives. If you are trying to untangle a limiting belief, here is how the process unfolds:
Unfiltered Capture: Write down every belief that surfaces in your mind without filtering or judging it. (e.g., “I am bad at managing conflict.”)
The Review: Look at each post-it note objectively and decide its fate: Keep it, Bin it, or Transform it.
The Power of Nuance: Transforming a belief doesn’t require a massive, unrealistic leap. Often, it is as simple as adding a single word of perspective: “I am bad at managing conflict... yet.”
What I found most profound about this exercise is that this step shouldn’t be rushed. Sometimes, simply writing a belief down and seeing it outside of your own head is the entire breakthrough of a session. A person often needs time to just sit with that realization before rushing into action.
Coaching, Autonomy, and Neurodiversity
As a mentor, my natural instinct can sometimes be to rush into problem-solving—to make assumptions, offer a quick reframe, or try to "fix" what feels broken.
But a vital piece of coaching theory is learning the discipline of stepping back. Sometimes, the most transformative thing we can do for someone is to listen and let them fully articulate what is there. Just holding the space is enough. Staying curious is the ultimate antidote to judgment.
This becomes even more critical when working with diverse thinkers, particularly neurodivergent ("neurospicy") profiles.
When a coach or leader suggests an action too directly, it can accidentally create instant internal resistance. Even if the person was already considering that exact step, directing them toward it can strip away their sense of autonomy and ownership. True growth requires space, not direction.
The Shift
The journey of moving from a beginner to a practitioner is less about accumulating tools and more about deepening trust. My personal shift for this week is simple, but it feels monumental:
I trust myself more, and I believe it will be ok.
