The Discipline of Restraint: Why I’m Learning to WAIT
I reached a milestone: my first actual coaching session during my training with Barefoot Coaching Ltd. It was fifteen minutes of live coaching with an observer a "triad" setup designed to test our presence and restraint.
Interestingly, I wasn't stressed. Usually, in a performance-based environment like a presentation, I’d feel that familiar pressure in my stomach. But this felt different. I felt calm, present, and energized. There is a specific kind of joy in watching someone think out loud and witnessing a shift in their perspective in real time.
The Luxury of the "Beginner" Mindset
I realize I am in a fortunate position. I am on this journey without the immediate pressure of needing to generate income from it. I can learn at my own pace, practice often, and (most importantly) get things wrong.
In a world that demands instant expertise, having the space to be a beginner is a true luxury. It allows for sustainability. I don’t want to rush the process; I want to grow into the role naturally.
Relational Impact vs. Seniority
We explored the work of Erik de Haan, specifically the idea that a coach’s seniority isn't the primary driver of success. Instead, the value is found in the relationship between the coach and the client.
In leadership, we often assume that experience automatically equals impact. But impact is co-created. There is a warning here for experienced professionals: the longer you do something, the easier it is to lean on ego. The more "expert" we feel, the less curious we become. I want to resist that gravity.
The "WAIT" Discipline
One of my biggest takeaways was the importance of being present rather than perfect. It is okay to ask the "wrong" question or name an assumption, provided it is contracted and agreed upon.
However, I have to constantly remind myself of the acronym WAIT: Why Am I Talking?
In coaching, the silence is often where the work happens. My role isn't to fill the gap with my own insights, but to hold the space for theirs.
The Discipline of Pacing
On a personal note, I have to be honest: I am tired. Balancing a full-time role as a Delivery Lead with intensive study, training, and life is demanding. Sustainability isn't just a concept I apply to my career; it’s something I have to practice with my own body.
This week, I am practicing two distinct disciplines:
The discipline of listening to others.
The discipline of pacing myself.
If you are growing a new skill or business alongside a full-time role, how do you protect your energy? I’d love to hear your strategies in the comments.
